Body Issues

I am not a size zero.  People don't look at me and think, "Man, is she tiny."  I've never been called small, or petite, or even athletic.  I've dated boys who told me that normally they're not into girls my size and that I'm pretty cute for a big girl.  I've been called fat, and thick, and "more to love."  I am not a size zero.

The way that people see me has affected the way that I see me, whether I realized it or not.  I see girls who are bigger than me wearing shorts and I wish I had the confidence they had.  I try on shorts and all I see are fat, little sausages that promise to expand the moment I sit down.  Before this summer, I hadn't worn shorts in public since I was in middle school.  Middle school.  That's over 10 years.

But then I found these black shorts.  They were high-waisted.  They were cotton.  They were comfortable.  I felt good in them.  So I bought a pair of shorts and the day it hit 95 outside, I finally wore them in public.  And no one pointed.  And no one commented.  I wore shorts and the entire world went on without complaint.

What I want to say is that it's okay to wear shorts if you think your thighs are too big, but it's also okay not to.  I still mostly wear dresses and skirts and articles of clothing that let my thighs rub together in privacy.  But what I learned is that I can wear shorts and do so happily.  Life is all about loving yourself, so wear whatever the fuck you want because less people are paying attention then you probably think.  Plus, you look fabulous.