$640 Million Jackpot

I bought a ticket. Okay, five tickets. Even though I know that I'm not going to win, it's still kind of fun to imagine what I would do with that kind of money.

1. Pay off my bills, most notably, my car.

2. Try to buy myself a college degree.

3. Go to Italy!

4. Donate some to charity, mostly places I have personal experience with.

5. Buy donuts for my coworkers.

6. Buy a Russian husband.

7. Create a nonprofit.

8. Start a business.

9. Take a bath in $100 bills.

10. Let me parents retire.

Love

Isn't it funny how we can fall in love in spite of everything and break up despite everything?

Life

I have so many things I want to share.

Tattoo

I've been flirting with the idea of getting a tattoo(s) for years now. I know exactly what I want, where I want it, it's just a matter of deciding to take the plunge financially and emotionally.

My first tattoo will be a line from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. I'm thinking it'll be something like this

The quote means a lot to me, blah, blah, blah and what not. The placement and font will be different, but it's essentially what I want.

Now, I love the idea of literary tattoos so I'm constantly pinning them and looking for new ideas. That's what happened today when I stumbled across this poem:

FOR JANE BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI

225 days under grass
and you know more than I.
they have long taken your blood,
you are a dry stick in a basket.
is this how it works?
in this room
the hours of love
still make shadows.

when you left
you took almost
everything.
I kneel in the nights
before tigers
that will not let me be.

what you were
will not happen again.
the tigers have found me
and I do not care.

There are a lot of tattoos that say "the tigers have found me/and I do not care." I thought that was such an amazing and adept way of describing grief. It struck a cord with me and I had one of those moments where you just stare at something and your mind both goes blank and on overload from thinking so much.

30 Days of Growth

In an effort to live a fuller life, I'm thinking of starting this. It's a 30 days of growth challenge. I'm not sure if I'm going to do all of it, or just try a few things, but I'm trying to be a happier, better version of myself and I really enjoyed some of the ideas.

My favorites included:

• Try one new thing every day
• Get rid of one thing a day for 30 days
• Ditch 3 bad habits for 30 days
• Define one long-term goal and work on it for an hour every day
• Every morning, watch or read something that inspires you
• Have a conversation every day with someone you rarely speak to

The biggest issue I have with the list is that a lot of the things say, "just dedicate an hour." It I just dedicated an hour to most of them, and was cooking, and was trying to do a lot of the things, there would not be enough hours in the day. I'm going to write them down, jot down ideas, and see how the first few days treat me.

Marina and the Diamonds

Just discovered this girl and I think she's amazing. Take a listen.

Crappy blogger

I've been a horrible blogger lately and, for once, I don't even care.

I've been a part of this book study on Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project," and it's made me realize that stressing myself out over blog posts and beating myself down and worrying about them...just isn't worth it.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to stop. I have some amazing things that I'd love to share, but it's going to be when I feel like it because I really don't need the added stress of another commitment.

Believe or not, I actually have been blogging. I've been writing stupid, emotional girl crap and just not publishing it because as much as I need to write things down for my mental health, I'm sure that you don't really care.

On a side note, I want sushi so stinking badly right now.